The Emotionally Healthy Marriage by Dr. David Stoop & Dr. Jan Stoop

Author:Dr. David Stoop & Dr. Jan Stoop
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Marriage—Religious aspects—Christianity;Emotional intelligence;Emotions—Religious aspects—Christianity;REL012050;FAM030000;FAM029000
ISBN: 9781493425259
Publisher: Baker Publishing Group
Published: 2017-01-06T00:00:00+00:00

Action Plan #M9—Make a List of Your Own Shortcomings

This may feel like a self-awareness exercise, but its purpose takes it beyond self-awareness to helping you better manage the behaviors associated with your negative emotions. Take some time to reflect on where you fall short of your own or your spouse’s perceived expectations. This is designed purposely to be a humbling Action Plan. One of the benefits of genuinely and humbly knowing ourselves is our willingness to become more transparent in our emotional relationship with our spouse.

For example, if one of your shortcomings is a tendency to procrastinate, even on important things, then write that on your list. Or maybe you get impatient with other adults and with your kids. Write it down. You are doing a personal inventory of as many of your shortcomings as you can. Paul instructs us to “be honest in your evaluation of yourselves” (Rom. 12:3).

Now comes the humbling part: share your list with your spouse. This is a confession time, for you are going to verbally validate with your spouse what they probably already know about you. There is value in being able to confess to each other. James tells us that when we confess, we experience healing (see James 5:16). He also reminds us to humble ourselves so that God can lift us up in honor (see James 4:10). With this Action Plan, the humbling is to lead to greater emotional transparency.

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